Building Your Confidence

If you’ve ever had a wobble with your self-confidence, please know that you are not alone.  Confidence is like a muscle and the more you use it the stronger it will become.  Being confident will allow you to do so many things in your life.  Here are my top ten tips to help you build your confidence.

  1. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend

So many people are critical and tell themselves such horrible things.  The next time you catch yourself doing this – stop.  Ask yourself, would you say this to your best friend?  If not, stop again.  Reframe what you are saying and be nicer to yourself.

  • Practice affirmations

Positive self-talk can be great, but affirmations make it even more powerful.  Remind yourself with post it notes that “I am confident, I can do this” and other sayings that resonate with you.   If you can’t think of any affirmations just Google them and choose the ones that you feel drawn to.

  • Be a radiator not a drain

You’ve probably heard of people that lift you up (known as radiators) and people that pull you down (known as drains.)  Make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive people.  These people will radiate energy towards you, making you feel better about yourself and your abilities which in turn will lead to more confidence.

  • Say ‘no’ and mean it

Practice saying no.  Do it every day.  You’ll be surprised at the results.  Saying no helps you strengthen your inner confidence muscle.  It demonstrates that you value your time and yourself and this in turn impacts on your confidence. 

  • Learn new things

Often, we don’t feel confident because we feel out of our depth.  I’d encourage you to learn more as this will help you with your own confidence.  Check out a short on-line course, ask a colleague for help or offer assistance to someone else.  The more you learn and share your skills with others the more confident you become in your own abilities.

  • Act like a positive person

If you dress to impress, and act like a confident person, confidence will naturally follow.  Research shows that self-belief can be very powerful.  So fake it till you make it and before you know it you’ll forget why you had to fake it in the first place.

  • Write it down

The act of writing a worry list can empower you to be more confident.  Often, when you see things written in black and white, it helps you stop thinking the worst and realize that things aren’t as bad as they seem.  When you write things like ‘I’ll never pass my driving test’ and then read it back it allows you to question your own beliefs.  In reality, no one knows whether you pass.  It’s just negative self-talk again.  Name it for what it is and move on.

  • Change your mindset

Confidence is linked to mindset and the more upbeat you feel, the harder it is to be critical of yourself.  Find your flow doing something you enjoy.  It could be painting, listening to music or dancing.  It doesn’t matter what it is.  Bring positivity into your life on a daily basis and use this practice often when you need to lift you out of a confidence rut.

  • Ask a friend

Often the way that we perceive ourselves is completely at odds with how others perceive us.  If you’re going through a tricky situation ask a friend what they think.  You might be pleasantly surprised to learn that other people perceive you differently and this can help you build your confidence.

  1. Develop an attitude of gratitude

Writing down things that you are thankful for helps you to put things in perspective.  It can have a positive impact on your self-talk which in turn impacts on your self-belief too.  The practice of gratitude helps you reduce the pressure you put on yourself, realise what is important and what you have to be thankful for.

Becoming more confident takes personal investment.  You have to start by believing you are worth it.  Delve into the world of positive psychology, there are lots of workbooks around the area of confidence.  Or work with a Coach to overcome your limiting beliefs and lack of confidence.  The power to change your mindset, increase your confidence and change your own life is literally in your hands.

Learn more about Vicky Lawlor and Pivot Career Coaching

Pivot Career Coaching, Making work, work for you